I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
