Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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