he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
