I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
