okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
