you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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