I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
