id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
