the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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