North Korea, Best Korea!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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