so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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