I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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