I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
