so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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