I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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