My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
