Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
