Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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