my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
