hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
