also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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