i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
