If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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