News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm at about main and main street
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
