Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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