You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
