Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
