well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize