Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
