he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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