Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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