Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We're too hungover to prance.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
