I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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