There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
