how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize