chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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