I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
