ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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