I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
