I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
