I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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