he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
