I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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