Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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