Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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