Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
