i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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