I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
