so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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