Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
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