I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
