I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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