All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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