I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
