She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
