Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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