Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
