there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
