she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
