everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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