That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
