She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
